You asked for it.
Your wish is my command, Tommy.
Don't be a bore.  My names cora, short for computer oral response activated. I'm programmed to respond instantly to all your needs. I'm also to keep you amused during the lengthy duration of our prolonged voyage.
We're on a delta vector for quadrant alpha six.  I've activated my sensors and am probing the asteroid area where life forms were reported by galacticas rather limited scanner.
Quiet please I'm scanning.  
I have 2 unidentified sublight vehicles bearing omega one alpha six.  Shall we investigate?
We have enough speed to outrun anything in the universe.  Hang on.
Slowing to sub light speed.  we don't want to barge in until we know what they are.
Excuse me.  I'm putting them on the screen.  Visual contact in point one five cent ons.
Sixth millennium shuttle and fightercraft origin unknown, they're probably not cy lon, Feel better honey?  
May I suggest a high speed flyby kicking in our second booster within fifty met trons.  Our back wash will knock him silly and scare the po cheese out of him.
Released.
You were 52 met trons away when you hit the booster.
Rather sloppily.
The fighter is disengaging and turning for asteroid point seven one hectars distant. Shuttle craft has been damaged and is landing on asteroid directly ahead.  What should we do?
May I land us or do I have to go through a bouncer?
Vectors displayed.  Please, try not to jar my chips.
Switching all systems except marker beacon to standby mode.
Finally decided to turn me back on.
Shall I scan for that fighter?
Identify.
Affirmative.  Identify.
Computed. Where is starbuck?
Displayed.  What happened to starbuck?
Starbuck!
Computing.  Estimate they will fire in point eight five microns.
Anything you say honey.
Hang on.
Here they come again.
Here they come.
You'll black out your only human.
I'm beginning to regret that.
Starbuck.  Starbuck.
Starbuck?  Starbuck?   Honey...
Of course we did it!  The cy lon fighter couldn't match my pull up.  It crashed directly into the structures 2.7 met trons east of the castle.  I'm scanning a regular inferno down there.  Evidently these structures contained highly volotile fluids.